Reflexology Durham Region

Everyone has a good person inside them

It is post Christmas and post New Years of 2015. I still sit in the wreckage of a hellish two years of epic struggle and change. My journey is still not over and I have been close to end of life for myself a few times.

Everyones pain is different. Sometimes physical pain is easier to deal with than emotional but just the same real to the person experiencing it. I find that every time I am at my worst and find myself pulling myself out of that hole, I want to give back immediately by helping someone else in need. I call it emotional harvesting. I am starved to have purpose, to make sure what has happened to me doesn’t happen to others, to ensure good still has a chance out there if only we made more time for it. It helps me every time.

My cup becomes full from doing these things. It is only unfortunate that my cup becomes empty from people taking from me. Not the ones that I am helping on purpose, but the ones that take from you to benefit themselves against your will. Oh the list i could write of all the events of people taking. It isn’t about letting them all the time. Do no victim shame but also don’t be the victim of same crimes over and over again. It isn’t you it is them.

When someone takes from you, they made a choice to do something against your will that they know will harm you in some way and prove to be a benefit to them. Justice is not always in your power or others to administer to help defend yourself. I feel karmic justice always gets the last say. If you think of yourself as a soul of pure love and look over your life through those eyes and see all the injust you have caused in the world by your choices, would you not have regrets, would you not feel guilty? That isn’t who I am, I should never have done that. The life I live right now is one I live with myself.

I am not a perfect person, I do have my infractions of taking from people. But in my recent years, I have shut down any type of behaviour that causes taking from happening. If at any point I have slip ups, I am going to correct myself and the situation. I am aware and that is important.

To all the people who are not aware, I don’t feel anger towards you, but mostly just disappointed that you have not made the efforts yet to give yourself a chance to be a good person. You saw opportunity, you saw what you thought was weakness in others and exploited them to your own benefit. I saw a lot of the good in you and in others get destroyed from your actions. But what you thought was my weakness that you profited from, was actually my strength. For the pleasure, the money and power you think you have obtained from taking, you have only created a debt for your soul to pay back. One that the good in you will have to pay for at some point. All soul debts are paid off by positive action, something you chose to avoid by taking.

To all the people out there acting with love. Great work. It isn’t the easiest choice to act through love, nor does it always benefit you in the way that you think. Don’t give up on being kind to others and yourself because of what happens to you. It takes incredible strength, power and practice to be wonderful at any cost. Forgiveness is the hardest thing to do to all of those who wronged you. It is certainly much easier to forgive to those who have apologized and earned your love. Have pity for those good people who haven’t quite tapped into it yet. They got distracted by things, money, power and pleasure and have lost their way. Perhaps you can be a teacher and help find their way back to the best possible version of what they can be. Who is really in there.

I am learning how to forgive those who have not sought it right now. Changing how I think of the misfortune and hard times it has caused me, focusing on what I have learned and how i have become a better person because of the hard times, and most of all focusing on the good person that is trapped within them.

4 am thoughts

This isn’t a new years resolution. With the sleep schedule being off and just starting to read the book “The Myth of Freedom, by  Choya Trungpa”, I have some thoughts about a few things.

As a person waking up to modern spiritualism in a capitalistic society, driven by war, money and generally just taking from people to become more powerful and more rich, how do I integrate?

I have been trying to shed my ego, reduce my impact, and cut down on spending (having less money to spend made that easier), and reducing stuff and drama in my life has really helped me put perspective not only what I was impacting in this world but how the world was impacting on me. But now I am stuck with the struggle of fitting in, making a living and surviving with my beliefs being very much against the norm.

A the base of all my thoughts is feeling safe and secure with my basic living needs in this world. I have financial obligations just like anyone else and struggle to meet them every month. But is the worry of having a financial future holding me back from becoming my best self now? Fear has taken hold of me on this aspect and it has held me back from enjoying life. I feel obligated to be looking for work, my ego sneaks back in and makes me think that “you are better than that job”, yes I may be qualified to do something that does pay more, but because of my fear, I am placing myself in a position of desperation. If only i could drop societies obligations and judgement of my skill set and focus on my skills that do make me happy, the skills that help others and passion for my work that helps everyone around me as well as the company grow. This is how someones inner awesome is smothered, by obligation and financial burdens or choices that are difficult to escape from.

The future – Science, the media, earth’s current retaliation against human activity, has made me think we are not worthy of a life here. Humans that is, there are people on earth who can truly connect with earth, respect her and balance with her. It is the rest that are not worthy of earths glory. I think our entire existence here has proved we are only getting worse as a species. It is human behavior and ego and that has not allowed us to really enjoy how amazing this world really is. But all I can think about is if I’ll have enough money to retire.

Programming from the social machine, I have been taught to only care about myself, my needs and how to prolong me existence on this planet and capitalistic off it’s resources, the time I have, the pleasures that have been created by technology. Fun is great, but it has taken over real responsibility. “Oh this toy is broken, well i could just get a new one” Isn’t that what our kids have been brought up to believe?

I have 4 strands of xmas lights that don’t work. They cannot be recycled easily and it would be easy enough to say “I can just go get a new strand”. There is a tool that will test each light. It cost $9.99. With maybe 1 hour’s worth of work, I could find out how to fix these lights and they will work again. But it won’t be a quick and easy task, my ego says my time isn’t worth that effort, and it would be easier to just buy a new set. But that rationale is my programming not the right thing. We are rushed to get back to having fun or making more time for that because we are trained to believe we only have a certain amount of time to have fun. We are trapped in our schedules, we think doing nothing in unproductive, we look for ways to make unfun tasks easier to deal with so we can go spend money and time doing fun things whenever possible, we believe that doing a job or tasks cannot be fun.

This is a first world struggle. Our basic needs of shelter, food and water are met, so we focus on not being satisfied with almost everything. I have been guilty of this. Learning to take my time, enjoy a task and focus on the benefit of doing that task has offered a new perspective. These tasks may take up more of my time now but I don’t think of them as a burden. They are achievements everyday that help improve my quality of life. Practicing them, makes me better at them and I am able to research new ways of doing these tasks that will result in less impact on my footprint on this earth.

So far I have covered a struggle with finance and fear but the real struggle we all face is time. We know that life starts and ends. When it started wasn’t up to us, nor will the ending and the ending could happen at any moment. It is the time in between and the uncertainty of what is left that we feel defined to leave our mark. “I must achieve ______ before I die”. Everyone’s achievements vary and are very much defined by their ego and their perception of what makes them feel important in this world and set aside as an individual. The “who am i” question that we all ask ourselves.

If we added the idea of our souls, our learning, was infinite and separate from time, would we change our set goals. If you had eternity to work at that job just so you had money to spend on things to do when you weren’t working is that what would would do forever?

Time is a massive cage to put yourself in. And if you truly believe that this is the only time you have left, that you end when your body does, I hope you create happiness for yourself at no expense to the world or others.

To create happiness by taking, is really robbing yourself of true happiness.

lioness and cub

Let people help you

Being and adult comes with many short falls. You were raised and trained from childhood for being and adult, you rushed through your teens pretending you were an adult and the day finally comes where you have adult issues. Where all the joyous freedom of being a child and taking things for granted is gone. Not forever, just scheduled on weekends and after work.

The biggest part of being an adult is knowing that you are the only person that makes decisions for your life from here on out. You are entirely accountable for keeping yourself sheltered, clothed, fed and alive. There will be times in your life where you are not able to fulfill those basic needs.

Are you a failure at being an independent free adult? NO!

It took sitting in gruesome traffic with bad radio and my own irritating thoughts to come to the conclusion.

One of the greatest gifts in life is allowing people to help you. They are not being charitable for the sake of pity, they empathize with your situation (whatever it may be) and want to help in the best way they can. It could mean they give you money, they come over and do chores around your house, or simply just listen to you bitch about whatever might be going on. If they are a really great person (which likely they are), they want to do those things for you, because they know being there for you is what you need right now.

So let them. You need them. Drop those feelings that you feel that people are feeling pity for you. What you are going through is just a matter of time, it isn’t forever, it is there for you to learn from and be stronger to overcome. Having people help you doesn’t make you any less equipped for the job. You know now that you don’t have to do it alone.

We spend enough hours thinking we are alone, surprise!! you are not! And you will realize that sooner when you let people help you.

Good luck on the journey. You have everything to gain from it.

 

Location

Reflexology and Holistic Health Services Located in the Durham Region. Out of home treatment and Mobile services available.

 

1381 Largo Crescent, Oshawa, ON, L1G 7E4

647 984 0272   firstoftwo@gmail.com

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