Reflexology Durham Region

Seeing through being poor

I started writing an article and just deleted the whole thing. It was not putting a good intention out there. So here is the new one, intention revised.

It isn’t what has happened to me or through blame of others that I am here. I am here for a reason and I have learned some hard lessons, some lessons of giving and receiving, and some lessons of giving up.

I had a hard time this morning learning to accept my current situation. It made me sad to admit at my age and a approaching birthday as a reminder that things are not what I would have liked them to be. It made me think that planning in general is a nice idea, but nothing ever goes according to plans. I was prepared for something like this and it has allowed this acceptance to be delayed over months versus just dealing with it right away.

So here are some difficult things to be grateful for. I am grateful to be on this side because I now see the vast amount of people over here, finding new ways of coping, new ways of finding happiness and living their lives. I am grateful for the things I have given up, everything I have sold, donated and removed from my life that was taking up space or just didn’t hold any love in my life anymore. I am grateful to finally see my real needs are emotional and that stuff won’t fulfill those needs. I am grateful to let go of my anger, sense of accountability for things that i had no actions for and to free my mind to healthier thinking. I am grateful I can see these emotions in other people now and how they may impact my own emotions. I am grateful for the time I have had to figure this all out. I think without the misfortunes of this past two years, this new rock bottom is actually the foundation of something amazing I can build now and for my future.

Being poor is about finance and only that. I don’t fit into the goals that society had for me, nor do feel hooked into the system to play the game. Even homeless people are alive and as long as we breath we have something to learn and gain from the experience. Happiness can be created by nothing physical. Happiness is your intent and what you plan to do with it.

I can honestly say from writing this post twice that I feel better than I did when I started it. And that is something to be thankful for 🙂

Learning to be Supportive

hand-support

Being supportive might have been something you thought you were doing well for your spouse, your child or friend. Add more care to your supportive role using these methods:

  1. Focus on their strengths
    They are perfectly aware of their short-falls and the problems they are facing. It is best to highlight the good parts of themselves that may not be putting focus on. i.e. “You are such a strong person. I have seen you overcome difficult problems like this before (list off). That is why I know you will find a solution for this one.”
  2. Offer practical help
    Avoid listing off all the things you think they should be doing to help solve the problem. Chances are, they have gone through that list already and repeating it just makes them feel stupid. If you are going to offer your help, avoid making it general “I’m here if you need me”. They do need you, that is why they are venting or asking for advice. It just isn’t obvious to them how to specifically ask for what they need.If you can offer help by removing other stressors or tasks from their life so they are able to focus on their problem, that would be a huge help! I.e. “I can come down and help around the house so that it can give you time to focus”. “I thought I would drop by with some groceries, I know how focused you are on this other task”.  “I would like to drop by and be there for you, maybe we can brainstorm together or you can assign me some tasks to help.”3. Follow up
    Being consistently in contact with someone who needs support is ideal. They like the reminder someone cares about them and is encouraging them to stay motivated and on task. Avoid asking questions about their problems. If they are focused on it, they will update you when there has been positive or productive change. Asking them about something they are not forthcoming about will only draw up negative emotions and thoughts.

    4. Inspire and educate yourself
    If you are unfamiliar about the issue they need support with, educate yourself. By taking initiative to learn what they are dealing with, you can then learn to relate to and be tactical about your actions. They will appreciate your support in that capacity.

    5. Be there in person
    We are human and thrive on community, physical and emotional connections with one another. Now that the digital age is here, we are severely lacking in personal connections with one another. Simply your positive presence in that persons life will be of some benefit to them. If you are unable to relate to any of the above techniques, simply being silent and present for this person is ideal to supporting them. Words have strong meaning but actions speak louder.

 

Better your life with law of attraction

I am learning so much from Law of Attraction meditations. Mostly on how to change my thoughts and how to update my vocabulary to more positive wording. Here are some tips to help you on your way to positive change.

  1. Use positive action phrases “I want ______” , “I am happy with _______” , “You are (insert compliment)
  2. Avoid using use words as “don’t”, “won’t”, “can’t”, “try” anything that may indicate less than 100% intent.
  3. When it comes to learning how to love others and their choices, there are ways to avoid judgement, even if you are not happy with their choices. Stop your thoughts and send love. Say it to yourself or put it out verbally to them “I send my love”. It is hard to shut down negative thought behavior and even our negative non-verbal communication. Acknowledge the negative energy and thoughts you may have an turn it around into a positive.

    Example: Jimmy wants to buy a home that is beyond what he can afford. Your immediate thought is that he is being stupid and rushing into something that will cause him more stress. Turn your thoughts around by thinking or even saying. “I trust that Jimmy knows what he wants to do and is prepared to take this on because he wants it and he will make it work. I send my love to support his happiness in this decision.”

  4. How you help people can also come off as negative without even knowing it.
    Example: “Oh… you look like you need a hug”
    This may seem harmless but subconsciously with your words you are saying “I acknowledge that you are in a bad place and you need my love as you are not able to create it for yourself” . Instead of just hugging them, you have verbally giving more power to the negative situation that they are in by acknowledging it. Another way of helping that can seem bad is when you help people to make yourself feel better.

    Many people do this by giving money to charity people at the door (pay them to get rid of them and it would make me feel less uncomfortable) or helping family out by forcing donations, money or time when it was unwanted. You feed and resolve your guilt by thinking you are helping them when they have not asked. You are making them feel like they are not strong enough to find solutions for these issues on their own.

    Be encouraging, send your love and your kinds words of how proud you are of them. “I know you are a strong person and will figure out a solution, I send my love”

These are just some of the tips this week I have been grateful to learn about from two meditation sessions. May they be helpful in your life as they have been with mine.

Location

Reflexology and Holistic Health Services Located in the Durham Region. Space is a private home office. Please indicate any allergies ahead of time.

 

North Oshawa Simcoe and Taunton - address provided with appointment.

647 984 0272   firstoftwo@gmail.com

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