Reflexology Durham Region

Case of the Monday’s

Oh Monday, you really proved yourself today. Woke up at the usual time of 5:30 am, got to my train on time arrived at my exit on time but wait.. i wasn’t suppose to take the train today. I was suppose to pick up a work mate and go to a meeting. She luckily texted me before it was all gone to waste.

So back i went all the way to the home station, got in my car and started to exist the parking lot when this Huge SUV decided not to stop before crossing the lane way I was approaching swiftly in. I have great cat like reflexes and swerved at the last minute lightly touching the front bumper of this SUV that was clearly going to tBone me.

With a mild scratch i stopped the car to double check. The SUV.. made no such attempt to stop other than a wave. I assume that their care is too big to feel all the things it runs into.

My little car was scared and I was a bit nerve wrecked but I left to go to Tim Hortons for a coffee and donut .  The lady messed up the coffee and the food order and proceeded to tell me I confirmed the order.

From then on, the day was fine. I got to my destination, the meeting went one without much of an issue and I got home to finish a few hours of work with emails.

Truth be told I bought myself an ice cream at the end of the day. I also learned that removing asbestos  from the house would costs thousands. For a $350 test, I could find out if my insulation has it. I hope that test comes back negative!

I also found out at flooring insulation costs double the floor cost. If only I could everything on my own.. but that would be no fun. Can’t take credit for things people never see.

Onto tuesday and beyond this week, praying that it gets a bit better.

Some theories on depression and anxiety

You’re starting to hear more and more about depression, anxiety, and suicide in the media these days. But what is actually causing the growth of mental health issues in youth? Or was it always there just unreported or unrecognized?

As a person who has suffered from depression and anxiety, I can relate first hand to some of the pressures and thoughts that trigger the condition. The more I discuss it with others, the more similarities tend to surface.

Some phrases and words that people suffering with a condition may use:
1) Forever
2) I don’t fit in
3) No one understands me
4) No one listens to me
5) There is just so much wrong in this world
6) What’s the point?
7) Why bother, it won’t make a difference
8) Not like anyone would miss me
9) People are stupid
10) I just don’t understand why

Just reading these statements you can feel the sadness deep within the words. Much of what is listed above does carry some truth, but for reasons that are not evident to the person feeling them.

Society does a number on kids these days by pushing images of perfect specimens of what people should be, what they should have and feel and do to be happy. This constant expectation that you need to be like this, to feel a certain way, and the incredible failure of never being able to reach what realistically is an impossible goal.

Perhaps the whole definition of failure was improperly defined to us. Instead of being pushed down, judged and defeated, allow failure to stand for opportunity to try another method, to learn more about alternative paths and theories, to succeed in discovery of a solution. The reward itself will be the journey not the end result.

I have found myself trapped in a negative spiral of frustration when trying to solve a problem. When the problem is solved, I have found no joy because I didn’t appreciate the journey to get there. Without finding some enjoyment in your process, you can expect to feel negative about every action you take.

Fear is a large component of depression and anxiety. The question bombs repeat in your head over and over of all the “what if” scenarios. When you are constantly reviewing hypothetical situations in your head of all the outcomes you are missing the sheer joy of experiencing the journey of just picking a path and discovering what might happen on your own. After all, how often has the worst case scenario come true? And will you let one bad experience ruin all the good ones you might have?

The feeling of being safe gets to become a numbness to life in general. “If I don’t do anything, I can’t be disappointed” this is true, but if you don’t do anything you also can’t be happy. Embrace sadness, embrace happiness, our emotions are a generous gift that makes us completely unique as humans. Our time here and now is meant to be spent to be good, feel good and create good.

Someone posted today on facebook “if you feel helpless, help someone else” . Everyday we struggle with “I am in control”. Greatest lesson you will learn is that you are not in control of anything. Give up on control and give in the moment. Help someone to help yourself. Each time I find myself “out of control” or failing to let go, I leave the house and donate my time, resources, dollars to something that will help someone else. Your thoughts move off you and immediately to someone else, and you gain perspective.

Perspective! To those who deal with depression less than others, this is a hard concept to grasp when talking to someone deep within their own battle. Relating to someone struggling with an issue is all a matter of perspective. One of the greatest movies I think describes this was “What dreams may come”. His wife died of suicide and she was trapped in hell, she could not see her husband, could not hear him, she only felt the great void of his loss and the darkness of her sadness. After much struggle, her husband attempts were failing at bringing her home. He loved her so much, that if it meant joining her in hell, then he would, just to be with her. It was only then she truly saw him and that he truly saw her. They were to work together to free themselves from their own living “hell”.

On my darkest of days, it wasn’t the advice I needed to hear, or peoples sympathetic words, it was someone who was willing to just be there beside me and join me. Someone who is willing to sacrifice their time to just be there to love you fills you up with the help you need to get better.

The greatest step forward you can make is away from what you know (what is safe). When you are doing something new, you’ll have no time to focus on those repeating questions and thoughts that hold you back from being happy. Don’t open yourself to doubt, just go and do it. This is your life, the opinions and questions of others will only hold you back from being the amazing person that you are. Because you really are amazing!

Life is a miracle, and each day is a gift, let each breath fill you up with the wonderful chance of experiencing something unique any moment of the day.

Much Love!

5 languages of love – book review

5 Love Languages

5 Love Languages

I have just finished “The 5 languages of love” by Gary Chapman. Recommended by my counselor. (Yes, I have one and everyone should have one at some point).

This book is mostly geared towards couples, married or not married. However, if you are not in a couple stage, like myself at this moment, it is exceptionally good insight to how you should give and receive love and keep feeling loved at all points in the relationship.

We have all been at a struggling point in a relationship where we start to discover each-others not so loving attributes. This book makes sense of what makes us “nit pick” and what and how others make us feel not loved ,and how we can make sure that we feel loved and make others feel loved using one or more of the love languages outlined in this book.

1) Words of affirmation

2) Quality Time

3) Receiving Gifts

4) Acts of Service

5) Physical Touch

 

A simple break down of examples for each:

1) “You have made a delicious dinner, thank you for taking such good care of me”

2) Turn the tv off and send the kids to a sitter, look each other in the eye and really connect with one another.

3) It was a beautiful sunny day and I saw these flowers and thought of you.

4) I know you like the house clean so I have vacuumed and did the washing.

5) Holding the hand of your partner, giving them a back rub, hugging them (it doesn’t always have to be about sex).

 

Everyone speaks different love languages. You can learn so much about yourself as well as your partner in this book and hopefully find a way to be happy together for a very long time.

 

 

 

Location

Reflexology and Holistic Health Services Located in the Durham Region. Space is a private home office. Please indicate any allergies ahead of time.

 

North Oshawa Simcoe and Taunton - address provided with appointment.

647 984 0272   firstoftwo@gmail.com

gift certificates