In 2014, I learned through a bit of research, that I am gifted and cursed with a hyper-emotional state called Empath. In basic terms this means I can pick up and absorb other peoples emotions and have heightened emotional reactions myself to my own personal thoughts and actions on a day to day basis.
So why does this make this a curse and a gift?
Think of yourself as a magnet for emotions, if you were a magnet attracting metal walking down the street it would be pretty annoying having things attach to you, very distracting and you would likely be trying to avoid any big objects from attaching to you. Empath people often avoid big social situations or negative ones in fear of attracting these emotions and carrying them with them. It is a heavy emotional burden and often you find empath people taking days to themselves to be in solitude to help recover or cleanse themselves.
Depression is a huge component of this negative attraction of emotions. Heavy thoughts often manifest into stress and multiple negativity, more withdrawal and sensitivity. I often find myself these days crying on a whim… just a thought can set me off both good and bad.
The gift, having emotion makes us human. Being accused of being unemotional and too emotional I can honestly say i would rather feel and care than walk through this life as a robot. I believe in karma and don’t intentionally take from people. I find myself even avoiding tempting occurrences like when someone at the grocery story forgets an item in the cart and has left it behind. This is not my item to take and they would likely have the chance to come back and get this possibility, i will not rob them of that chance. I am thankful to feel such compassion and empathy for what others suffer because I feel it too. “I feel” has be a major descriptive word in how I describe my days events. Both pain and pleasure are heightened and it is great to know that although I struggle, I feel (there it is again) that I am getting the most human experience.